The Value of Salt

On occasion, I recall a story my father liked to tell (as was his duty as self-appointed storyteller and resident comedian). The story is as follows:

There was once a very rich and beloved King who had three beautiful daughters (at least, I assume they were beautiful because I've been conditioned by society to do so. Anyway). On one afternoon, his three lovely daughters were waxing lyrical about how much they adored him (most likely to get money, as is generally the case with offspring). 

The first daughter said, "Father, I love you more than all the gold in the world!" and the King was very pleased. The second said, "Father, I love you more than all the diamonds in the world!" and the King was even more pleased but pretended to be equally pleased because daughter number one was the jealous type.

The last daughter stepped up to her Father, kissed him on his bald head (something anyone who has ever kissed a bald head has immediately regretted), and said "Dad. I love you more than salt!" The entire court stopped, appalled that she would compare her father to something so commonplace. "How dare you?" cried a man whose opinion was never asked for at all. "Your father is far more valuable than salt. There is no comparison!" 

"Is that so?" countered the daughter, who was by far the wisest most clever and most likely a feminist. "Then I challenge everyone in this court to go for one week without any salt whatsoever in their food." And so began the most difficult week the pampered and sheltered aristocrats had ever encountered in their lives. Not a single person, not even the King, could last the full week, which is unsurprising considering that the rich were generally denied nothing whilst the poor became poorer, and this was before Capitalism was even cool. 

Finally, the King announced in front of the court that his youngest daughter truly loved him the most of all, for no single thing was more valuable than salt! (Not that the princess cared, because she was a feminist and didn't believe in competing with other women for the affection of a man.) And everyone in the land, except for the poor peasants who had no food to add salt to in the first place, agreed and there was great revelry and debauchery in the court, all paid for by the taxes of said peasants. 

The End

So perhaps I added a few embellishments of my own over the years, but the important thing I wanted to highlight (for absolutely no reason at all) is that there is nothing more valuable than salt (except perhaps human life and Beyoncé) and that everything we read should be taken with a pinch of it. 

The reason behind this completely pointless blog post is that I recently saw a twitter exchange between Kanye West and Nike that made my entire week only to realise after extensive research (i.e. scrolling through their feed) that Nike unfortunately never tweeted it. It had been photoshopped. And that, my friends, is why everything should be taken with a pinch of salt. 

On a completely unrelated note, I'm Facebook friends with Matthew Fazzi, the ex-band member of Taking Back Sunday, and he liked my Kanye-Nike post on Facebook and it's the first time he's ever liked anything and that means I've finally hit the big time. Or that he was utterly bored. 

But how brilliant would it have been if Nike really had done it?

Pepper & Söl